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The Genesis Block

by Jeremy Garcia @jerimican5445

 

1 In the beginning Satoshi created Cyberspace (heaven) and the Bitcoin White Paper (earth).  2 Now the Bitcoin White Paper was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Satoshi was hovering over the Bitcoin Whitepaper. 

3 And Satoshi said, “Let there be satoshis (light),” and there were satoshis. 4 Satoshi saw that the satoshis were good, and he separated the sats from the altcoins (dark). 5 Satoshi called the light “digital energy,” and the darkness he called “crypto.” And there was evening, and there was morning— Tick Tock Next Block.

6 And Satoshi said, “Let there be vaults between man and money to separate man from money.” 7 So Satoshi made the vault and separated the vault under man from the vault above it. And it was so. 8 Satoshi called the vault “nodes” (sky).  And there was evening, and there was morning – Tick Tock Next Block. 

9 And Satoshi said, “Let the open source software (water) under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 Satoshi called the dry ground “miners,” and the gathered waters he called “Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System.” And Satoshi saw that it was good.

11 Then Satoshi said, “Let the miners produce bitcoin: asset-bearing plants and trees on the miners that bear bitcoin with sats in it, according to their various utxos.” And it was so. 12 The miners produced bitcoin: plants and trees bearing sats according to their utxos and trees bearing bitcoin with sats in it according to their utxos. And Satoshi saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning – Tick Tock Next Block.

14 And Satoshi said, “Let there be Bitcoin (sun) in the vault of the nodes to separate the sats (light) from the “crypto” (dark) and let them serve as signs to mark sacred timestamps, and days and years, 15 and let the satoshis in the vault of the crypto give light on the earth.” And it was so. 16 Satoshi made two great lights—the greater light, “Bitcoin”, to govern the day and the lesser light the “Difficulty Adjustment” (moon) to govern the night. He also made the nonces (stars). 17 Satoshi set them in the vault of the “nodes” (sky) to give light on the Network, 18 to govern the sats, and to separate sats from crypto. And Satoshi saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning— Tick Tock Next Block.

20 And Satoshi said, “Let the open source network teem with “BIPs” (living creatures), and let Second Layers (birds) fly above the Network across the vault of the ledger.” 21 So Satoshi created the great code (great creatures) of the open network (sea) and every living code (thing) with which the open network teems and that moves about in it, according to their lines of code (kinds), and every second layer (winged bird) according to its coding (kind). And Satoshi saw that it was good. 22 Satoshi blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the open network, and let the second layers (birds) increase on the open network.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning— Tick Tock Next Block.

24 And Satoshi said, “Let the miners produce Proof of Work (living creatures) according to their kinds: the Antminers (cattle), the Whatsminers (creatures) that move along the ground, and the Avalons (the wild animals), each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 Satoshi made Avalons (the wild animals) according to their kinds, the Antminers (livestock) according to their kinds, and all the Whatsminers (creatures that move along the ground) according to their kinds. And Satoshi saw that it was good.

26 Then Satoshi said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the protocol (fish) in the sea and the second layers (birds) in the sky, over the Antminers (livestock) and all the Whatsminers (wild animals),[a] and over all the Avalons (creatures) that move along the ground.”

27 So Satoshi created mankind in his own image,

    in the image of Satoshi he created them;

    male and female he created them.

28 Satoshi blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the Network and subdue it. Rule over the protocol (fish) in the open network (sea) and the second layers (birds in the sky) and over every miner (living creature) that moves on the ground.”

29 Then Satoshi said, “I give you every sat (seed)-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has bitcoin with sats in it. They will be yours for energy (food). 30 And to all the Whatsminers (beasts) of the earth and all the second layers (birds) in the sky and all the Avalons miners (creatures) that move along the ground—everything that has Proof of Work (the breath of life in it)—I give every satoshi (green plant for food).” And it was so.

31 Satoshi saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning— Tick Tock Next Block.

32 Thus cyberspace (the heavens) and The Bitcoin Whitepaper (the earth) were completed in all their vast array.

33 By Block 97250, Satoshi had finished the work over which he labored; so on the 97,250th Block he rested from all his work. 3 Then Satoshi blessed the 97,250th Block and made it holy, because on it he left cyberspace and all of his creation.

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Note from Stackchain Magazine: No Bitcoin (or inferior monies) were exchanged for this article. This article was written by Jeremy Garcia you can find him at @jerimican5445 on X, and he’s also part of Satoshi’s Journal which you should defiantly check out satoshisjournal.com. and I’m told the memes for this article were crafted by none other then memelord Spinte Orthobro @bitcoinorthobro themselves. Legend has it that the dankness of his meme’s is a result of many years of training in the orient where he learned from the finest master’s of eastern memery.